Sometimes a child's view is worth thinking about . Makes the gift of Christmas come alive

A child was asked to write a book report on the entire Bible. Here is what was written:


The Children's Bible in
a Nutshell

In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord
thy God is one,' but I think He must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did.
Then God made the world. He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed
because mirrors hadn't been invented yet. Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven
from the Garden of Eden.....Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars.
Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel.
Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except forMethuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.
One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built
a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would
have to take a rain check. After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau,
because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat. Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights
out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs,
mice, lice, bowels, and no cable.

God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments. These include: don't lie,
cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's stuff. Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother.
One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the
fence fell over on the town.
After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about
300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me.
After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and
then barfed up on the shore.
There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.
After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of The New Testament. He was born in Bethlehem
in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying to me, 'Close the door! Were you born in a barn?'
It would be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was.')
During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Republicans. Jesus also had twelve opossums.
The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him. Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount.
But the Republicans and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.
Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.

Belief in God - its a bit hard to sit on at times

Heard you talking cautiously about those who make miracle claims. Sounds reasonable, considering the apparent euphoria around what has happened at Beaconsfield .
Struck by the fact that for me , ( and I think most ) the sense of miracle is very personal. A sort of wonderful thing in itself – a bit like the warmth in the pants effect ; not welcomed so much by others?
Nothing hits you when you have a sense of miracle than the difficulty of explaining it to others – after all its your experience ---at least in large measure . And we forget and doubt quite naturally because if God is there he’s not out front in ways we desire.


The best examples I know of miracles are ones where the miracle happened to someone I know and I share a sense of wonder much greater than they do about all the coincidences .

BUT I am in a general sense of wonder that the one who could tweak the nuons and quarks should do it with such incredible precision as to be so personal. Is not the testimony of experience of humans that we are made in a Creator’s image ? We love to create and if the determinists are right we are kidding ourselves completely.

Either way, I think , JUST like the blind man Jesus healed , most of us outside do not want to know .Despite being loud and getting lots of people to defend him and share his knowledge , the wider elements of audience wanted to shut him up .

Somethings in the media are very predictable . The challenge is to avoid focusing on them alone ! After all the lowest common denominator is not good science either.

Remember too, that our secular prophets say we are in denial about determinism --and rightly so. – There is , in reality , a lot of things to wonder about ----- if you are prepared not to close the door of the mind / heart on them.

Henderson stirs - good on him !

An excellent piece in the sydney morning herald today.
http://www.smh.com.au/news/opinion/time-for-nonbelievers-to-hear-the-word/2006/04/10/1144521265826.html

I don't buy the Age regularly anymore and i never ever used to read the sun . but i do look for the Sun at maccas now because its likley to be less predictable and much more passionate about things that matter ( for example young people) . Like the argus was the age is a liitle nbit too pedantic about what made melbourne great.